Strict Auditor

Its been quite sometime i wrote a comedy-piece article. The joy of writing in Thanglish can never be explained. Anyways, This is the second episode of my CA life.

Like the first one, this is also about an interesting character. This time its not a client's but a colleague and a very close friend of mine, Mr. Military Officer (similar to the one in Ullathai Allitha film). Am quite sure every audit office will have a character like him.

"I am a strict auditor"

He is basically one who wants everyone to consider him a very strict officer and will always keep his face like "The Undertaker while entering the wrestling ring". Even if someone tries to tease him (like this post), he would keep his face very stiff in front of us, but will be ROFLMAOing on his way back 'alone' :P.

Ivarukku audit bloodil oorina vishayam. "CAdhan en moochu, CAdhan en pechu, CAdhan en watchu" endru sollum alavukku Audit-mel oneside love kondavar.

He is one of the most brilliant articled assistant a firm can long for. Really a GEM of an auditor (no no, i did not mean Ginger Eating M*****). But the problem the firm has to encounter was that they have to keep him at bay or this Officer would say, "Unga Partnership Deedil Pizhai Irukkiradhu??" o.O (Seems there is some problem in your Partnership Deed).

He can even goto an extent saying, "Indha client office vaasthu padi kattala!! Machinery import pannathellam Raghu-kalathula pannirukanga!!  Edhukkum Contingency Provision poda sollalama?"

2012-la ulagam aziyapovuthunu kelvi pattu, accounts ellam provisionalla "For the period ended April to November"nu pottu sign off pannanum apadinu President-kku oru Letterkooda anuppinar.

Rumor has it that he once tried to prove Microsoft Excel had so many flaws that he thought of having a heated conversation with Bill gates. But then, Our Officer has always been extremely busy and unfortunately couldnt find time for this. (Thakkali - Mukkavasi perukku "( )" appram ' * ' podanuma illa vice versavane velangala, unakku ivalo complications avasiyama?).

Because of his tight schedule, even while sending mails he would say just "Morning" instead of "Good Morning". Given a chance, he might even form a template for his messages and mails that he usually sends.

(He even damaged his mobile once while attending a very important call in the restroom).

At times I had an opportunity to team up with him for some out station audits. Namma officer is not only good in Tamil and English, but also in Hindi. Once we went for shopping, "Bahn bolo bhaiya" phrase vechey bargain panni 10 rupees discount vaanginaru (510 to 500 for few trousers).

Also for our officer there are few allergies. He never takes coffee or tea anywhere (Ketta adhu avar integritya affect pannumamam). Secondly and more seriously the sight of Drinks will run a chill down his spine. There was a time, he actually fainted and had to be admitted in a local hospital for a day.


Outstation vandhalum, he would find comfort in staying at the hotel rather than roaming around. Even if it happened to be an holiday, he would hastily take out the working files and continue his work (while watching pogo channel). Here is one glimpse of it.

Me: "Officer, innikukoodava work pannanum? Konjam rest eduthukongalen?"

Officer: "Hey we are running short of time. There are many other areas in our portfolio which has to be rechecked. I have to finish this portion today itself"

Me: "Officer, atleast indha pogo channelavadhu maathungalen?"

Officer changes the channel to BBC News. (Indha Comedy channel, K Tv-lam un vaazhkaila nee kelvi pattathey illaya?)

Officer: "Okay, i will set the timer in my watch now. Let me see if i can wrap up the work in next 6 hours. I have already ordered Curd Rice for our lunch, so you neednot worry about that as well"

Me: " *tha file-a moodraa. Illa sanga kadichiduven"

He angrily closes the file and takes out IFRS book written by a foreign author. (Ayyo Raaamaa, enna yen indha madhiri pasangaloda teamla kothu vidara?)

When in mood, there is no stopping him. Every single person in the company, incl the office boy would be tempted to crush him, for his questions would be too difficult for them to even remember, let alone answering them.

"Audit panna arambichitta yen pecha naaney kekkamatten"nu punch dialoguelam try pannuvaru.

Idhula vera yaro senja audita review panna solitta, Karagattakaran Koundamani madhiri, "Innoru pazham enga?"nu kettu kodanjiduvaar.

There shouldnt be any kinda disturbance while he audits. If any occurs, then Jeeva-samadhidhan. GM-aavey irundhalum pudichi kaadha kadichi vechiduvar. Oru vela namakku aapu vechiduvangalo-nu manasukkulla bayam irunthalum, adha veliyila kamichikka matar namma anjaa nenjam kondam officer.

When it comes to office timing, even if the night watchman asks him to go to his house, our Officer would say, "Konjam velaya irukken. Oru 15 mins-la kelambiduven". Only when the raa-pichaikaran goes for his morning sleep, he would think about leaving to his house.

Also the concept of materiality is rarely accepted by him. "Autokaranukku meter-mela 5 rupees kuduthadha travel expensesla kaatama vittutanga. I must take this issue to the notice of the management".

But our Officer has a weakness. He is not only an Auditor but also an 'Odd-Eater'. If someone provides him one 5 rupees cup ice, there is a slight probability that he might consider to give up that Missed out 5 Rs Travel charges (But definitely not more than that). He can survive upto a week with just icecreams for consumption.

Idhu mattumillama, namma Officer adikadi, "I Must write to the concerned authorities"nu pongi ezhuvar. Supari paakka edhukku excisable goodsa announce pannanga-lerndhu arambichu, VAT % ethitte porangale-ngra varaikkum, ivarukku adhangam niraya irukku.

Even with all these, he had a flaw which he always overlooked. He rarely cared about documentation. Ketta, "Quality of audit is not in punching and filing the papers"nu thathuvam pesuvar. But vidhiyin sadhi - ippo Big Big Big Big firmla Documentation panrathaye kula thozhila senjittu irukkar.

Summava sonnanga periyavanga, "Velila pora Onana vettila vittutu, ippo ona ona-na vittuduma?".

Eninum, Anjaa nenjam konda engal aapicerin audit payanam thodarnthu nadanthu kondey irukka en manamarntha vaazhthukkal !!!

PS - You Know Who-vai kalaithuvittargal endru ROFL-il irukkum anbargaley!! Adutha kuri neengalaga irukkalam :P

CARNATIC MUSIC - DECEMBER SEASON 2012 PREVIEW

Well I could see so many pre-match forecasts in all the sports. If there is going to be a World Cup, the discussions for the same starts even before 6 months. These are made mainly due to the interest shown by the fans and the number of followers it has.

Music as such has huge following world-wide. But, Carnatic Music has only little following (compared with western even in India). Despite that I could see many starting to go to carnatic concerts, just to know what’s there in it. Many groups in Facebook have started discussing on carnatic music, which is very great thing J.  Only this way, even I started listening to it and am sure I can never come out of it in my life.  During december Chennai welcomes so many tourists and people all around the world to celebrate the Margazhi Music Festival. All the sabhas will already be making arrangements for audio, canteen, etc. And its time for Music, Music and Music everywhere, every single second in Margazhi. 

Previously I wrote my pre-season expectations for Football. Then a thought struck me. Why not write for Music season too, as I value it more than anything else (incl football ;P ). This article is about ‘pre-season forecasts’ or to put it rightly what I expect from this December 2012 Music season, and the concerts that am planning to attend (hopefully). Just writing this out of enthusiasm, so if you find any mistakes, please do let me know in the comment segment in order to rectify the same.

First of all, many congratulations to Trichur Ramachandran, who has been awarded The ‘Sangita Kalanidhi’ by Academy. Very happy that another artist from GNB School has got it. He is giving Lecdem on “GNB’s Raga prastara and Thanam” on Christmas morning at Academy.

 

Vidwan Nedunuri Krishnamoorthy is presenting a lecdem on The music of Sripada Pinakapani on 30^th December.

Sri. Malladi Suribabu, student of the Legend Voletti Venkateswarulu and father of Malladi Bros is performing in academy this year. I heard him sing few songs at Sripada Pinakapani’s house in a function for entering 100 years of age. Absolutely brilliant sangathis by Suribabu, that reminds us of the Great Voletti himself.

The first thing I noticed when I saw the concert schedule was Sri. TM Krishna giving out free concerts by singing in the morning sessions. Now people need not wait for tickets in queues to listen to him. But then I really don’t know whether this would help the sabhas’ finance, (which again only those incharge of the sabhas would know) and for those who will not be able to afford to take leave or permission from work in the morning. But then, its really a joy to all TMK’s fans. Also it helps to sort out for his fans, to some extent, to select the concert to attend in the evenings. This year too TMK - Trichy Sankaran combo will be giving the Special 4 hour concert at kalarasana, which they have been doing for years together.

And the second thing I looked forward was Sri. Mandolin Srinivas – Sri. Trichy Sankaran Combo in Bharat Kalachar. Unfortunately this time they have made different accompaniments for  Srinivas. I hope Bangalore Praveen will make a good substitute. And as usual the Mandolin Wizard is playing at academy on 23^rd, MFAC on Christmas and Kalarasana on New Year, while the Mridangam Legend plays for most of Vijay Siva and OST concerts. Such a Made for each other Duo Vijay Siva - Sankaran are. But ofcourse, Sankaran can make us look like that to whoever he accompanies. They perform together at Asthika Samajam, MGR Janaki College, Kalarasana and IFAS.

Lalgudi Duo – Trichy Sankaran combo are performing as usual on Jan 1^st at MFAC. Another must-listen one for the Music Lovers.

Sri. Sanjay Subramaniam's performance at Kalarasana is one of the most sought after performances for a long time. They share a great connection in my opinion. Everyone can expect a very satisfying and lengthy concert by Sanjay on 23rd.

Couldnot find Smt. E Gayathri concert anywhere. Seriously I donno whats wrong with the sabhas. Or maybe she is not available. Very sad really given the kind of knowledge and prowess she has and the spells she can cast with her veena. Will miss her for sure.

Dr. Vijayalaksmi Subramaniam  has been performing in the top tier for years. Recently her guru Shri. S Rajam's DVD was released. S Rajam stood for popularising Vivadhi Ragas and Koteeswara Iyer Krithis all his life. So we can expect a rare raga treat from Vijayalakshmi Subramaniam.

Most of the top senior (super senior) artists like TNS, TVS, Ramani, TNK, Sivaraman and Guruvayur Dorai are giving lesser concerts compared to last few years. Its high-time we hear them to the maximum possible extent, before they retire (which I hope shouldn’t happen).

In the upcoming artists segment – RamaKrishnan Moorthy, Prasanna Venkatraman and Amrutha Venkatesh are in the must-listen list. K. Ashok, Son of Vidwan Kalidas (Disciple of Legendary Palani Subramaniam Pillai) has started performing again from last season. A great talent in Mridangam like his father, worth listening to.

TNS Krishna, Abhishek Raghuram and Saketharaman’s Academy performances for the last 2 years have been spell bound. The only worrying thing is the availability of tickets. This should be in the schedule of everyone. Also everyone can make sure you would get to listen atleast 3 hours of great music in Abhisek’s performance at academy, which ofcourse is a great treat for all of us. TNS Krishna resembles his legendary father in everyway possible and his laya gnanam and Poruthams in swara patterns are amazing. Saketharaman's Rasikapriya last year was outstanding. Many senior accompanists including Umayalpuram Sivaraman have been accompanying him in the last few years. This trio should be in top-of-the-list of any rasika.

Sri. Injikkudi EM Subramaniam’s performance in Ragasudha Hall was THE BEST I heard last year. His Nalinakanthi and Thodi were out of the world. But on the downside of it, only very few rasikas attended it. This year too he is performing on Christmas morning at the same place. I sincerely hope to see more fans turn out for Nadhaswaram this year atleast.

Vidwan Karaikudi Mani, another legendary Mridangam artist is giving a lecdem on "Possibilities in Misram" at Narada Gana Sabha on 22nd.

Vidwan Sri. J Venkatraman, disciple of Alathoor Bros is giving a lecdem on Canda Tala Pallavis, which are exclusively used in Thiruppugazhs on 23^rd at Academy. 

This is a rare treat for those interested in Layam J.

One more curious Lecdem is the “Automatic Gamakam Generation – Computer Synthesis” by Sri. M. Subramanian. Just wondering how is it even possible. Very much looking forward to it.

I have already attended few concerts in November and most of them had Kambodhi as Main Raga. Too much of something good is also bad. This happened in 2007 where around 65% of the concerts I attended had Kambodhi as the Main raga and it was too much to take in. I hope its not the case this year. I also wish everyone starts performing some rare ragas and Vivadhi ragas and most important thing of all, I request all the rasikas not to leave during thanis and hope to listen to Good Music in an environment I desired for in my previous article.

Some Notable Concerts:

Date	Time	Artists	Place
26th Nov	5.00pm	T. Lokanatha Sharma – K. Ashok followed by N Ramani – T. Bhaktavatsalam	Arkay convention centre
29th Nov	6.45 pm	Vijay Siva	Bharatiya Vidya Bhavan
DECEMBER 2012
4	4.30 pm	Ganesh Kumaresh followed by Unnikrishnan	Narada Gana Sabha
6	4.30 pm 6.00 pm	Sowmya followed by TVS Abhishek Raghuram	Narada Gana Sabha Brahma Gana Sabha
7	6.00 pm	Vijay Siva	Brahma Gana Sabha
8	4.00 pm	Malladi Bros – Trichy Sankaran	Narada Gana Sabha
11	5.00 pm 6.00 pm	Guitar Prasanna followed by TN Seshagopalan Shashank	Bharatiya Vidya Bhavan Brahma Gana Sabha
12	9.30 am 4.00 pm	Prasanna Venkatraman Bhushany Kalyanaraman followed by Neyveli Santhanagopalan	MFAC
14	4.30 pm	PKM Ravi (Nadaswaram) followed by Kadri Gopalnath – Kanyakumari – H. Palanivel	Narada Gana Sabha
15	4.30 pm 5.00 pm 6.00 pm	U Srinivas Vijayalakshmi Subramaniam followed by OS Thiyagarajan Sanjay Subramaniam	Krishna Gana Sabha Bharatiya Vidya Bhavan Brahma Gana Sabha
16	4.30 pm	TNS Krishna followed by KJ Yesudas	Nungambakkam Cultural Academy
17	8.05 am  9.15 am 4.30 pm	M Subramaniam (Lecdem on Automatic Gamaka Generation) Raji Gopalakrishnan Ramakrishnan moorthy followed by Amrutha Venkatesh	Music Academy Narada Gana Sabha
18	9.15 am 4.30 pm	Malladi Suribabu OS Thiyagarajan followed by Sanjay Subramaniam	Music Academy IFAS
19	4.30 pm 7.00 pm	N Ravikiran – Trichy Sankaran followed by KJ Yesudas Abhishek Raghuram	Narada Gana Sabha Music Academy
20	4.30 pm	Sanjay Subramaniam – Mannargudi Easwaran followed by Pantula Rama	Narada Gana Sabha
21	9.15 am  4.15 pm	OS Thiyagarajan – Trichy Sankaran Sowmya followed by N Ravikiran	Music Academy
22	8.30 am 9.30 am 4.00 pm 4.30 pm	Karaikudi Mani (lecdem on Possibilities in Misram) TM Krishna Vijayalakshmi Subramaniam followed by Malladi Bros Shashank followed by Abhishek Raghuram	Narada Gana Sabha MFAC IFAS
23	9.00 am 9.15 am onwards 10.00 am 3.00 pm 4.30 pm 6.15 pm	J Venkatraman (lecdem on Canda Tala Pallavis) Vedavalli Trichur Bros Prasanna Venkatraman U Srinivas K. Balamuralikrishna TM Krishna – Karaikudi Mani Aishwarya Vidyaraghunath – L. Subramanian Jwala Ensemble – Umayalpuram Sivaraman Sanjay Subramaniam	Music Academy Narada Gana Sabha Sastry Hall Krishna Gana Sabha Kalarasana
24	9.15 am 4.00 pm	Trichur Ramachandran – Mannargudi Easwaran TNS Krishna followed by Bombay Jaishree	Music Academy MFAC
25	8.05 am 10.00 am 4.00 pm	Trichur Ramachandran (Ledem on GNB’s raga prasthara and Thanam) Injikkudi EM Subramaniam Saketharaman followed by U Srinivas	Music Acadmy Ragasudha Hall MFAC
26	4.15 pm	Vijayalakshmi Subramaniam Followed by Sanjay Subramaniam	Music Academy
27	8.30 am	Suguna Purushothaman (Lecdem on Thiruppugazh)	Narada Gana Sabha
29	8.30 am 9.15 am 6.15 pm 7.00 pm	Ghatam Karthick (Appreciation of Rhythm in a Concert) TV Sankaranarayanan followed by Ramakrishnan moorthy Vijay Siva – Trichy Sankaran Saketharaman	Narada Gana Sabha Music Academy Kalarasana Music Academy
30	9.00 am 9.15 am 4.30 pm 7.00 pm	Nedunuri Krishnamoorthy (lecdem on Music of Sripada Pinakapani) TN Seshagopalan Kadri Gopalnath – Kanyakumari – Guruvayur Dorai – Bangalore Amrit TNS Krishna	Music Academy IFAS Music Academy
31	4.30 pm 6.30 pm	Sudha Raghunathan followed by Abhishek Raghuram OS Thiyagarajan – Guruvayur Dorai	Narada Gana Sabha MFAC
1st Jan	9.15 am 9.30 am 6.15 pm	Shashank Lalgudi Duo – Trichy Sankaran U Srinivas	Music Academy MFAC Kalarasana
6th Jan	5.00 pm	TM Krishna – Trichy Sankaran	Kalarasana

 The full Schedule is available HERE

JUST FOR LAUGHS :-

PS – If anything in the content needs edition, please do let me know in the comment segment. (All the images  have been taken from google :P )

A VERY HAPPY MUSICAL MONTH TO ALL THE RASIKAS J

A Letter to Music Industry

My Dearest Music Industry,

How are you?

I know that you are in a very poor condition, but how come you are made to appear as if you are awesome to the mass. Anyways i have few questions for you and do expect your reply ASAP.

Now - "its when AC is good"

All these days, I was made to think Music is something for the Ears, Brain and Heart. Never knew it’s only for eyes. Can you explain me how eyes replaced the other 3? Whenever I go for a performance all I could see is stylish dresses in some fancy colors accompanied by bracelets, necklace, tonnes and tonnes of makeup, irrespective of gender and at times with laptops in front of them. Why the days where the main performer's criteria was being musically and intellectually brilliant only accompanied by mind-blowing orchestra or some fantastic instrumentalist and not the cosmetics or laptops are gone?

 When you said you are going to go global, I thought it was about publicizing your regional or national music all over the world, developing talents, acquiring various ideas and fit it to your style if possible. But why didn’t you tell me it is something to do with Currencies and not anything to do intellectually?

In this commercial world, i know it will be hard for you to survive without those currencies, but why have you made that as your primary objective?

"Looks like, if i get a chance
i too will make the top rank in music"

When have you actually planned to appreciate sincere and talented musicians who actually ‘contribute’ to music, other than giving various awards to same bunch of over-hyped rats, who get you commercial success and only that. You actually think you can sustain in the years to come if this keeps happening. Let me tell you this – your current group of self-promoting commercialists who call themselves musicians, make the “Old Lady who accidentally fell into the river, which full of crocodiles, yelling SOMEBODY HELP ME” a better musician. Why don’t you actually promote those who deserve to be and not those who just claim to be? Why don't you promote those who contribute to your growth and not their own?

Reminds me of
"Raja Kulothunguvai vittuvitaar aiya!"
from Pulikesi film

With you migrating with films, I thought you will reach to all the people and create interest in them. But never had I thought it will be you who will be following the footsteps of film industry. Why have you decided to promote yourself in a filmy way? The result is this – “Kill the lyrics, anyone even care about those?” Now we have words from unknown language, unknown spelling and uncommon pronunciations. Why did you stop your awesome collaboration with words?

In this ready-made and instant world, I know it’s a bit tough to survive, but why should you allow some weird kids who have actually learnt only the basics pose as if they are the ones responsible for your survival, despite knowing that they are throwing you into the pits. Why don’t you slap them hard on their faces and yell at them to go back, work hard, get some discipline and then come back to give a try. When a course like Engineering, Law or Medicine take so many years of work and practice, why shouldn’t the musicians also try it that way? Why don’t you start music as a course from school itself, rather than taking it as pastime? (Of course am not talking about the prodigies. But what you must understand is being a prodigy is something different from posing as a prodigy).

"He said its in my Gene"

And then there is this “its in his genes” musicians. Even though that boy or girl is not interested in being a musician, parents who unfortunately happen to be some senior musician, try to promote them. Why don’t you actually fix some basic qualification for performing publicly, instead of just arguing that we get better ‘ticket sales’?

And then your so called fans who consider listening to classical music just for the sake of putting one FB status that they have attended this wonderful concert performed by this awesome person and not for the sake of joy and pleasure they derive from it. Why is it hard for you to understand that you are not healthy because the Fans, who just sit in the concert hall with equal make-up and jewels that the artist put on, have their minds on the canteen or on other listeners, who have come with a better makeup. 

These fans will simply walk away during percussion solos claiming that its too complicated to understand (I doubt their capability to understand ragas/tunes as well) and not on your music. 

They try to rate an artist’s performance depending on the attendance or on the number of titles and awards that artist had been conferred with. What a qualitative approach indeed. If quality of a book is to be determined by the number of readers, you know which book will get the highest rating, what the ****.

A sincere request to you from your lover, who is now at the highest point of irritation coz of what is happening to you. There are few musicians, few directors, few accompanists, and few fans left who actually care about you. Why don’t you try promoting such artists, recognize actual talent, and give preference to suggestions from these fans.

Yours Painfully,

Witty Weirdo.